The Good Thinking team has produced this short guide to help anyone in the Hindu community across London who has lost a loved one, and to help health and care professionals who are supporting terminally ill patients of the Hindu faith. It's best to wait until the funeral service is over to greet the family, unless they're greeting people before the service. How can people of the Hindu faith be supported when grieving? The fees for the advice of an attorney should not be compared to the fees of do-it-yourself online If a Hindu, they can participate in the chanting of mantras. The grieving family may be visited by many wishing to express their sympathies and the time any individual can spend with them may be quite limited. Funeral Customs around the World - Eastern Europe In Gujarati families, there is a belief that the departed soul rests on the rooftop of the house observing everything for the next 13 days. At that time, one can bright gifts like fruit. You are using an out of date browser. There is a process of letting the deceased go and telling them goodbye with prayers and songs. People should wear white and not black. The body usually remains at home until it is taken to the place where it will be cremated. There, husbands and wives increasingly share household roles as dual-earners. For instance, the death of a teenager is perceived differently from that of a 90-year-old. It is also appropriate in Hindu tradition to send sympathy gifts. Everyone one of us was inspired simply by knowing Avindash. Complete Guide to Hindu Funerals - TFS Funeral Flowers Singapore However, often, a Hindu priest is asked to perform theantyeshti(funeral rites). advice. If you are a close friend or relative: Call or text immediately, find a time to visit the bereaved at home, and continue to stay in touch on a daily basis. There is a gathering of family and friends who are grieving. Organ donation is accepted and encouraged in the Hindu faith and should be discussed with the family when appropriate. The family primarily staying in the family home during this time. Cake offers its users do-it-yourself online forms to complete their own wills and If you want to do something now, send a donation as suggested by the family. It is helpful to remember that this is not a place where attendance gets marked, and definitely the last place to be soliciting ones business regardless of what it might be. The traditions and rites of Hindu funerals may vary. While the thirteen day intense period of Hindu mourning rituals may involve family and friends, the immediate family of the deceased is considered in mourning for a year following the death of the loved one. Unless we actively keep our phones in silent mode, a loud and abrupt musical ringtone tearing through the silence can be quite unsettling during the visit. All Rights Reserved. Although their intent might be good, it doesnt always work that way. One should not send flowers or gifts to the Hindu funeral. Likewise, the person who passes an ugly remark at a solemn family function might not even realise what he said or did was hurtful. 15. She was neatly dressed and even had her hair put up. Many people follow thirteen days of. Sometimes, guests also attend this ceremony. Such tasks can include arranging for the ambulance, delivering food, cleaning the house, doing the shopping, taking care of paperwork, keeping smaller children occupied and assisting with funeral arrangements. Making a phone call or a visit can mean a lot during such times. Another option is to ask a close relative or friend to write some notes on your behalf. Few people are comfortable visiting a home where death has just occurred. Choose from trainer trainings, seminars, live-online workshops, and self-paced online courses, to best meet your etiquette training needs. And there are loved ones who suffer from their loss. What kind of gift is appropriate for an occasion? I remember my neighbour had a much more terrible time with the same disease. Someones positive familial and community impact is enough of a statement to their character in and of itself. And if you plan on visiting themyou'll spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. The soul, however, must continue with its journey. This setting gives the family a larger space to accept visitors and allows easier interaction with others. Recognizing and honoring this belief means that you grasp the idea of. What customs and traditions should I be aware of so that I can be respectful? A Hindu priest will be invited to visit and to purify the house with incense, prayers and mantra. Though a useful principle to follow universally, it is most handy while visiting the bereaved. When Is The Right Time To Offer Condolences? | Everplans In either case, develop a list of questions that your friend will need to answer. Dr. Vasudha Narayanan, Professor of Religion at the University of Florida and. If you decide you want to do it, then write your talk from your heart. Sharma, A. During the thirteen-day period of mourning following the death, the presence of friends and family helps create positive karma to help prepare the soul for its next incarnation. Remembering Loved Ones on Holidays, Anniversaries and Special Days Everyday Health | Visiting a family who just lost a loved one? Here is Additionally, they are not to touch or go near the family shrine. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. Since it is such a singular honor, one shouldn't refuse an invitation to be a pallbearer except for illness or absence from the location in which the funeral is being held. I am sorry for your loss. Traditionally, Hindus like to have the ashes spread on the Ganges Rivers waters in India. Hare Krishna. Below, well use this concept in offering messages for the loss of a child. Here are some thoughts and guidelines when considering a personal visit at the funeral home: Upon arrival, go to the family and express a simple condolence. He was a good banker but wouldnt part with a dime if you ever asked him, Then there are a few whose sole purpose of visit seems to be to estimate how grief-stricken the family is. As an elder or wise member of the community, it would still be common to invoke Lord Krishnas name even if this is the parents chosen lifestyle. Otherwise, if they show and express sorrow, guests will offer words to help them accept what has happened to move forward. By clicking "Accept", you agree to our website's cookie use as described in our Cookie Policy. I'm here for you." Relatives may wish to sit at the patients bedside, sing. All rights reserved. Examples are I am sorry for your loss, We are here to help in any way that we can, I will check back on you tomorrow, I am just a phone call away. Before the funeral, Catholics hold the Vigil (Wake). Many make allowances for the cremation to take place but the Hindu funeral rites may be executed on-site. Explain that you don't feel you can do it, and be honest as to why. As such, this message will work for the friend who sincerely believed in the transitory nature of the body itself. Please Click Here on how you can do that. 13. The length of the mourning period in Korea is largely dependent on the individual and is traditionally for 100 days. Get a signed copy of the NEW Emily Post's Etiquette Centennial edition, and support Vermont's independent bookstores. There are almost never any honorary pallbearers at the funeral of a Christian woman, but at a Jewish funeral both men and women may have honorary pallbearers. Chances are youll know this about your friends familial history enough to gauge an appropriate message based on his upbringing. It is best to make the enquiries on the day of death, and remain close to the bereaved and assisting them.If this is not possible, one can visit the house on even days except monday, tuesday and friday., even the monday is an even day thanjavur dist. Thats because they are considered to be impure spiritually during the mourning period. Visitors must realize that none of these questions would bring the person back; there is no second chance in death. It is also important to listen keenlythat is, without looking at our watches in between, fidgeting with our fingers or letting our eyes wander. Can I get anything for you?" It is typical for the family to decorate the house with icons of saints, burning incense and a single candle memorializing the deceased. Then go with your intuition. There, husbands and wives increasingly share household roles as dual-earners. Today is a sad day for us. There is a Mukhagni ceremony where the family is given one last look at the deceased. All Rights Reserved. Your father was a wise man. Silence is golden: Mark Twains classic quote is noteworthy in the context of visiting a bereaved family. Hare Krishna. One needs to observe at least 10 to 30 days of mourning. Eastern Orhtodox During the period before burial (three days after death), flowers may be sent to the funeral home. Asking the person not to cry is like choking a person who is already gasping for air. You can also donate financially if you can. It is not slain when the body is slain. Bhagavad Gita 2.20. Your sister was a beautiful person. In the Southern state of Tamil Nadu, messaging can go one of two ways when losing a parent. There is an intense period of mourning immediately following the cremation or burial service which lasts thirteen days. Certain rituals occur in the final moments, including: What should health and care professionals bear in mind? Hindu Funeral Traditions - Renaissance Funeral Home (2.20) acche'dyo' yam adhaahyo' yam akle'dhyo' sya eva cha / nithyah sarva-gathah sthaanoor achalo' yam sanaathanah. Be sensitive to the level of help your friend is asking for. And unlike a phone call or a personal visit, e-mail doesn't require an immediate response from the recipient. Flowers play a significant role in Hindu funerals but are used much differently from those in Western funerals. I understand that cerain days like Fridays and Saturdays are avoided for such visits. The act of explaining to the son or daughter or other close relatives about the good nature and help rendered by the deceased and give condolences to them is called Enquiring about the grief. Das, S. (n.d.). Friends and family visit the bereaved during the period of mourning which in Hindu traditions lasts for around 13 days. During the ceremony, the last food is offered and flowers are arranged around the body. Hinduism and Bereavement | Good Thinking Unexpected death, especially of the violent type can result in an emotionally supercharged situation, requiring us to tread very carefully to avoid offending anyone. Whether we are comfortable with it or not, visiting bereaved families is part of living in society. Hindu Rituals for Death and Grief - Beliefnet Bereavement support organisations for all faiths, Useful bereavement resources for health and care professionals, Useful Good Thinking bereavement resources for all faiths. This depends on personal preferences. This may include feelings of shock, sadness, and even guilt. When someone has lived a happy, full life, there may be increased celebrations and dancing. For the family, the trauma of having to retell the story over and over can be horrific. While every group has slightly different funeral practices, theres a general set of funeral rites that all follow in this community. The Awesome Etiquette podcast is a weekly Q&A show where hosts, (cousins, and co-presidents of the Emily Post Institute,) Lizzie Post and Dan Post Senning answer audience questions, tackle etiquette topics in detail and salute good etiquette witnessed by the Awesome Etiquette audience. They sit in the first two rows on the left, and after the service they leave, two by two, preceding the casket. what to say to someone who has experienced a death, How to Express Sympathy: What to Say and What Not to Say. Common blunders while visiting the bereaved: 1. Shell never be forgotten. Hinduism: Periods of Mourning | eCondolence.com Whether you are going to a, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Parent, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Sibling, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Friend, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Partner or Spouse, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Child. This reincarnation belief provides the base for Hindu funeral rites. Close with warm words, such as "With deepest sympathy." It is also appropriate to visit the home of the family to offer comfort and support. It is worth knowing that they are not always expecting a reply from uswe just need to listen. Hindus generally prefer cremation over burial and the funeral usually takes place as soon as possible after death. May Lord Krishna grant everlasting peace to her soul. 24 hours after the death, the body is taken to the cremation site. By merely being there, listening and taking care of the details, you'll undoubtedly be a great help to her during this sad time. Drop her a note periodically, or even an e-mail, to let her know you're thinking of her. This link will open in a new window. Mourners customarily choose to wear simple, white clothing to the funeral, although this is not a religious requirement, and a Hindu priest usually leads the prayers. We'll help you get your affairs in order and make sure nothing is left out. Ask for his/her input and a checklist of what needs to be decided and completed. Sympathy & Funeral Etiquette for Different Religions - Petal Talk For some, writing notes is helpful as they work through their grief; for others it is too difficult to get much done for some time. Perhaps your friends child died as a teenager and didnt have a chance to go to university or get married for many reasons. However, this is not a religious requirement and entering the temple during the mourning period is not forbidden. During the thirteen-day period of mourning following the death, the presence of friends and family helps create positive karma to help prepare the soul for its next incarnation. During this period, the immediate family follows all Hindu mourning rites. Are you sure you want to Unsubscribe from Malayala Manorama News letter/ Alert. A kind friend never leaves our hearts; they will remain with us always. When someone experiences the loss of a loved one, visiting the bereaved in person is a thoughtful way to convey the deepest sympathy and offer support. https://www.learnreligions.com/healing-words-for-tragic-times-1770148. (2020). Amy Wolkenhauer, BA in English/Creative Writing, https://www.indiatoday.in/information/story/deepest-condolence-messages-very-helpful-in-grief-1657386-2020-03-19, Hindu death traditions, rituals & beliefs. We are not attorneys and are not providing you with legal Traditionally, the Hindu mourning period ranges from 10 to 30 days. Our expert guidance can make your life a little easier during this time. Customs vary by tradition, but are conducted by a local priest and involve prayers, scripture readings and chanting. Determining the best time to contact the bereaved generally depends on your relationship to the bereaved or the person who died. Its important not to confuse peace and speed here, as speed is the best and appropriate choice. Exchange stories about your loved one. Visitations are usually held one or two days prior to the funeral service during a fixed set of hours. The Spirit cannot be cut, burned, wet, or dried. After the mourning period, it is appropriate to visit the deceaseds family at their place. Facebook. Notes of condolence should be acknowledged with a handwritten note. See if you would agree. During the ceremony, non-Hindus can sit quietly. You can also include a poem, passage or anything else you feel reflects your friend's life. After you hear about someones death, it is pretty customary to visit the deceased family at their place immediately for offering your sympathy. In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. Everplans is not a licensed healthcare provider, medical professional, law firm, or financial advisory firm, and the employees of Everplans are not acting as your healthcare providers, medical professionals, attorneys, or financial advisors. eCondolence.com, LLC | Copyright 2023. Some friends have the knack for hitting all the right notes and saying all of the right things. Relate stories that show your friend in a positive light, and handle any humor with care. If we are not familiar with the deceaseds family, it is better to introduce ourselves and verify the identity of key family members before proceeding to offer condolences. In many locales, even those who don't know each other will rally to assist bereaved neighbors in some way. Specific rituals depend on the patients affiliation to a particular Hindu tradition. At the point of acute loss, the person will be numb and will not be able to listen to long lectures and suggestions by visitors. Distant relatives and more casual friends and acquaintances may prefer visiting the family at the funeral home. of an actual attorney. Atma is beyond space and time. The word hearty means happy and should not be confused with heart-felt. Please navigate to the relevant forum to create a new thread or post a reply. He would tell you that mourning only keeps you from fulfilling your role as head of this family. If a family member has persistent trouble sleeping, help must be summoned. However, the following brief and simple condolences will let the grieving family know you care: We are sober, we are really sad about his sudden departure, May the Creator accept our prayers on his behalf. Usually, Hindu families arrange the funeral ceremony within 24 hours after death. Avoid the eating of certain foods, like sweets. The body of the deceased should be released as quickly as possible to enable the family to prepare for the funeral. Hindu - A gift of fruit for the family is the appropriate gift. It's worth noting that some communities and faiths have an open casket at the visitation and at the funeral service. people will avoid going to the deceased house. It may work for a coworker or friend who has lost their spouse. However, you may send or bring flowers ahead of time. Comforting the Bereaved Family and friends will express condolences and comfort by attending the Vigil Service and the Funeral Mass if possible. You should not bring flowers to a Hindu funeral. Here's a list of simple and concise condolence messages that can be sent to a person in grief. Funeralflowerssingapore.com always satisfies increasing requirements of customers. It also conveys an understanding that while there is a cycle to life, there is only one reality. Simple condolences are universally acceptable. In Hinduism, there is no judgment day as there are in Christian belief systems. May she rest in peace. Following their bathing, they will clean the house, as it is a Hindu belief that when someone dies, their home and its inhabitants are left unclean and impure. Offering Condolences: The Right Things to Say at a Funeral Do You Take Flowers to a Hindu Funeral? - Synonym If there is a line waiting to see the family, keep your thoughts and comments brief. to an Orthodox Hindu for their sibling, youll find that the atmosphere of condolences is much different. When attending a senior persons funeral, enquiring publicly about the age of the deceased is inappropriate, whereas nodding in approval of the stated age is downright rude. We have the perfect wedding, graduation or housewarming gift for someone special in your life. Harper San Francisco. Some Indian-Americans journey all the way back to India to immerse the ashes in the Ganges or visit many pilgrimage sites to seek blessings for the departed soul and solace for their own pain. Since you know that his mother likes lilies, you might want to wait a bituntil the activity immediately following your co-worker's death settles downand then send her the lilies. Think through how you truly feel about it. This period usually lasts for 10 days. Your personal condolence note would be especially kind, too. A common blunder by well-meaning visitors is to try and compare with their own limited experiences. Here, the priest oversees every activity. Here, reading 2.20 has been explained. Recalling a good deed that the person did, but the family was perhaps unaware of, can be particularly heart-warming. Since this is such a personal request it should be made, if at all possible, either in person or with a phone call. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. Memorial Day for Divorced Parents | Holiday Visitation Schedules Send hand-selected and thoughtful gifts appropriate for those of the Hindu faith to let them know you care. Friends and relatives may visit to offer condolences and participate in Hindu prayer and scriptural readings to provide solace to the bereaved. Check with another neighbor or look in your local newspaper for an obituary or death notice. It is also key to building positive karma for the deceased. If youre not familiar with these Hindu funeral customs, you may also see a lot of food and drink. While visiting, people tend to get drawn into conversations unrelated to the bereavement, at times even catching up on gossip. In many rural areas of India, gender inequalities still exist where the men adopt the head of household position. Those who are emotionally close to the bereaved person may quietly ask How are you and give them a chance to express their feelings. Similarly, theres no understanding of heaven or hell, but there is the desire to achieve Nirvana. Leaving footwear outside is part of local culture in India, and is a respectful gesture in this context. Recognizing and honoring this belief means that you grasp the idea of Brahman or the universal soul. If you're completely overwhelmed by the prospect, and feel that you must decline, it's okay to do so. It is customary to make a brief visit and spend a few moments in private prayer and then to visit with the family members. Sometimes termed the Art of Presence, one of the best gifts one can give is the gift of time. They also believe that the souls next incarnation depends on the personskarma (actions during their previous life). For instance, if the family head shows or voices no grief, the guests will respond similarly. The wake is usually reserved just for family members. 4. The time there can be brief and quiet. Bhagavad Gita Quotes for Condolence and Healing - Learn Religions Also, there may be a Hindu funeral ceremony called shraddha that usually takes place after 10 days from the death. During this time, because the family of the deceased is considered impure, they are bound by several rules of behavior. While silence is perfectly acceptable, a few well-chosen, soft words of comfort can help ease the pain. During times of grief, everyone wants to say or do the right thing, the loving thing, the appropriate thing, but it isn't always clear what that is. 5. So, they can view the body when they enter the house and offers some brief words of condolence to the bereaved family. Such dramatic statements serve no useful purpose to anybody except perhaps the perpetrator. Funeral Customs for Different Religions and Cultures | Teleflora A photograph of the. As hard as it can be to believe, some overly curious visitors have the tendency to interrogate the family about the cause of death.

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