It seems way more acceptable to be a nut for sports but if you watch Buffy? Youre mad at your dad, not at me! One of the strangest experiences of my life was attending a Sci-Fi convention with her on a lark where we learned she is on a Franklin Mint plate!! Way to become a teenager yourself dad. Meanwhile both Buffy and Firefly are all ancient history as far as teens are concerned Worse, Buffy is VERY annoying to anybody with an even vaguely high IQ. Now she's asked me to talk to him for her and, the truth is, I'm fed up with her moping and simply don't want to. Last week she followed him home after classes again, even though his bus goes in the opposite direction to where she lives. This is the one person in the entire world who truly has your back. Whats ok is to have a balance. There are many things I love about my husband. A few years from now this guys daughter interests may have changed, but she wont be bothering to talk to him about it or anything at all, most likely. because I think that as the teen years progress you will need some better strategies to deal with the 2 strong personalities that surround you. Its a really nice time to shoot the shit and get your head clear fishing can be very enjoyable, plus you have a free meal at the end of it! 15 Mother-In-Law Behaviors That Deserve a Punch in the Face - Scary Mommy Or are they just not able to love without losing themselves? Yet, while lamenting that they are not closer, he simply refuses to engage with her on these subjects. I really think if said in the right context, you can support both your husband and your daughter. Guy asked me out and now makes me feel bad for saying no. It sounds like she and her daughter just happen to share the same interests. As a mum who has exactly the same issue, I cant help but feel that this advice missed the point. Its already happening. (even though his tone and demeanor sound indefensively harsh, cruel and mean.). Or, find the show about the science of Star Trek. I dont know if its The Best thing, but its very important and Im glad for all the things he exposed me to. He was much kinder to them.) I thought that was actually really funny. They Dont Want Their Marriage To End Up Like Yours, 4. (My parents zydeco phase was an odd one.) bittergaymark He then referred to it as anti-hunting shit, and we werent allowed to like it. By keeping a few key things in mind, you can make headway in even the toughest situations. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'therelationshipnotes_com-leader-4','ezslot_15',127,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-therelationshipnotes_com-leader-4-0');And since she loves you both, it can be tough for her to see you stay in a situation that makes you both so miserable. As you agree, there needs to be a balance and it sounds like Dad is the only one whose realized that. AITA for saying my husband's ex is interfering? : r/AmItheAsshole These were followed up by hours and hours of This Old House, which we were required to sit through for family time but we werent allowed to speak at all during the show, lest my father miss something. Do not let that behavior continue. HA! July 3, 2013, 1:06 am, Honestly, no matter WHAT the mom was a fan of my response would have been the same. He didnt tell me The Right Stuff was a terrible song, he tried to play me some Beatles or Eagles to open my mind. (I highly recommend looking into how to cook with your fish encased in salt, something magical happens.). YUCK. Of course the fights will get worse as she challenges boundaries and pushes back against his authority. And that is kind of ok out of respect, if he hands me the remote, I put on things hed like, not what i like. Moreover, his interests could actually I dunno help make her a more well rounded person. Camping? And LW, just because there is communicating going on around you doesnt mean that your family has good, healthy, communication. Just saying that I dont consider Buffy the Vampire Slayer a mature, intelligent show. July 2, 2013, 12:04 pm. Obsessed with dolls? EL ESPIRITU DETRAS DE LA PUERTA - Facebook But yes, to all of it. The daughter will then learn to respond in similar (asking others about their hobbies, showing genuine interest, accepting of differing hobbies). Is there a middle ground? But in general, I lol at people who spit on the nerdy stuff. The Inner Light Seriously. The LWs husband sounds like my father. Honestly, I think those first two sentences were the best point Wendy made. Even if you didn't start out as a control freak, you might have realized that you morphed into one. I strongly agree with this. I loved how proud and impressed he was when I got the answer right, or parroted back some of his trivia. I think she should have given more advice for the LW about dealing with the husband and his responses to the daughter. lets_be_honest Shes doing archery and piano, Id say thats enriching. Hes let me know so many times that when hes had a hard day, he loves a home-cooked meal, watching his favorite show, going to sleep, and then making love in the morning. Middle schoolers and initially, I tried to explain the history of the Salem witch trials as well as McCarthyism before we read the play. Your email address will not be published. I was an athlete and a complete girly girl (still am), so my dad got his sports buddy and princess in one child my sister was not into sports or girly things. Crazy-makers often give up the love they most desperately need when they feel any sense of an obligatory payback. You might have started asking yourself, Is this person taunting me on purpose? The idea that you want your husband to now turn into what YOU probably secretly have always wanted him to be a fellow fanboy! Im a mom of a 14 yr old version of this LWs daughter mine is going to One Direction on Thursday, and will be spending all of Wednesday and Thursday both preparing for this epic event. You have to do whats best for yourself and your family. You got a long with him just fine before she got in to this stage in life, and you need to act like a grown-up every once in a while, because this guys is losing his wife and his daughter, partly because you want to be her friend more than her parent all of the time. One of these people is an adult and one of these people is twelve. And since she loves you both, it can be tough for her to see you stay in a situation that makes you both so miserable. Their only way out of that entrapment is to keep their partners owing them. Can I get a 'corona divorce' from my quarantined family? My mistake then we read the play and watched the movie, and they went NUTS for the story. My dad probably had no interest in my piano recitals or spelling bees, but he sure knew how to act like they were the most important things in the world to him. When children become teenagers, they sometimes start to distance themselves from their parents. It is definitely a good idea for the LW to lead her daughter by example by showing an interest in Dads interests and even suggesting an outing that he would like or that all of them would enjoy. bittergaymark I wanted to read 800 crappy Star Wars novels? Its not cool that Dad is rolling his eyes at his daughters interests and hobbies. I forgive you!. 6napkinburger The whole time I was reading the letter, I was thinking, Shit if he acts like this toward his daughter, how does he treat his wife? We are extremely close and love doing the same things. Tell you husband to ease up a little bit. Its a source of strength, comfort, and love. I would rock out to Tom Petty in my room while playing with my Sanrio boxes that were full of Lisa Frank erasers. And with Netflix and Hulu and all that jazz, getting all caught up on Buffy and Firefly and Star Trek and other shows that are ancient history with most of todays teens, is not all that hard. 2.5K views, 176 likes, 19 loves, 3 comments, 12 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Inframundo Relatos: SPOTIFY:. Good luck! I think most people worry about their daughters if they arent active enough and lay around watching tv or reading too much. it seems to . And like I said above, I like the idea of assignments to widen your daughters horizons. You wouldnt even ask that of an adult; why do you expect a kid to be okay with it? LW, you should probably rationally explain to your husband that eye rolling is unacceptable. Also hi BGM. Having them spend time alone will foster at least appreciation for each others interests and give them bonding time alone to build the relationship and find common ground now that your daughter is growing up. If he had been the one to write to me, Id be giving him an earful, believe me), but it only means you need to step up and be MORE parental, which includes putting your daughters interests first. Skyblossom I experienced an adolescence where most of my interests were labeled garbage and where I was told my lack of interest in playing sports was a character flaw that would doom me to failure as an adult. Also, I want to tell an awesome story about my dad. I know I did. Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? If the father wants his daughter to respect his interests, then he needs to be the adult and show her how adults should behave and respect hers. The dad needs to get over his superiority complex and then the daughter might stop pulling away. The kid keeps it all inside because she doesnt want to disappoint Mom, and the relationship with Dad dies. Build him up to your daughter while your opinion still means something to her. I think my athletic and musical skills would have benefited a lot if I could have had practice early. Parents can gaslight their children and definitely their daughters-in-law, whether they realize that's what they're doing or not. Otherwise theyll never be able accept the ribbing and teasing that happens in life. I used to whine like crazy when my dad tried to teach me about cars or home improvement, or talk about politics. I totally get it, but shes just got to snap out of it and team up with Dad. When I got to college and met all these kids whod been exposed to more high-brow stuff than I had, I definitely felt like I had to play catch-up to at least even have an opinion on this stuff. He is also very critical of both of us, but particularly of her lack of competitiveness (she hates team sports, and takes archery and piano but only for fun), lack of initiative, and being uninformed,, Yep. One of my faves is when they all de-evolve into more primitive forms and Worf-monster hunts Picard around the ship. Game of Thrones? You probably had no idea you were getting into this no-win relationship when it began. But those are not her interests right now, although she does participate when he asks her to. These 8 tips are from my experience and may point out things you probably don't know are pushing your husband away and destroying your marriage. And so does dad. I had the same experience at college! Just. Mother of a Fangirl. Manage Settings I agree with everything Wendy said, and your daughter will certainly benefit from spending quality time with him, even if they arent doing things that she necessarily enjoys. It is best to talk with a counselor or therapist if you believe there is serious dysfunction in your marriage. But nurturing these relationships between your daughter and both you and your husband while exposing her to things that may or may not be of immediate interest to her WILL help her be a more well-rounded, confident young woman secure in the knowledge that both her parents love her. And disparaging his daughters interests is the absolute wrong way to go about that. Which sort of circles back to point that even if this dad doesnt connect with his daughters interests, he really should make an effort.

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