NTA He has ruined yet another marriage you were better off without him. If she gets sick, he'll be gone. Your husband just showed he cares about money over everything else. A woman has demanded her husband return her jewelry which he gave away as a wedding present. That way she could at least rack up some debts without taking down the whole household in case of death. Do you really want to build a life with this guy? But, bruhhow are YOU still with him knowing what hes capable of doing? He stole his ex-wife's gold bracelet while she was out for her cancer treatments. Then he stole from her & lied to you about it. You seem to be a good person. If OP ever has a health issue, she should expect this man to abandon her and lash out to make her as miserable as possible. He was probably going to pawn the bracelet and never even let his daughter know about it.). NTA. Because I dont care if youre offended and I will trauma dump at you when I feel like your shitty thoughtless opinion is said in a way that encouraged my silence. NTA. You might think that its gonna be different with you, but its not, people like him never change. She thought Id lost my mind, and reminded me what live/marriage is about. And then stole from her? Men are much, much more likely to leave their wives after a cancer diagnosis than women are to leave their husbands. NTA. This is actually very common. This is not someone you need in your life. NTA but you will be the AH if you let this go. Move your own jewelry into something lockable. You should let the relationship ruin itself - or rather, let him ruin it - before the situation gets any worse for you. So basically your husband abandoned his first wife in SICKNESS because of money? Likely this guy waited until he had her locked into marriage to reveal that his morals are shit. His is ruining your relationship by being a liar and a thief. Please let Nora know she needs to secure her valuables. I mean, if (God forbid) something happened to you, would your husband leave? Not only are you NTA OP, this person does not deserve to have you in his life. NTA - stand your ground. So your husband is a thief. Indeed, otherwise hed have to LISTEN to women and thats just tooooooo much. I think it'sN.T.A is this particular issue but Y.T.A for the overall/, Nah your not she stealed it your NTA so you did nothing worng. And fast. I hope your vows did not include the "in sickness" part. NTA but man He left her because she had cancer, then expects that she pays back the money he spent while she had cancer and they were married, he goes into her bedroom and steals her personal belongings, he gets caught and lies to you about it, he threatens that exposing him will ruin your relationship What dont you see here???? Call Nora and then call a divorce attorney. Everyone around me had negative opinions about him, many of my friends told me to my face how shitty he actually is to anyone that's not me, and sometimes the ways he's shitty to me, how I never did anything about it. Also, please protect yourself. Add in that he divorced wife when she was diagnosed with cancer, and wow, what a jerk. I cannot see how you could have overlooked that behaviour. NTA. NTA. I feel horrible for the stepdaughter.. Yeah that's why he said he was to give it when the daughter turned 20. I was shocked by this statement, they were married back then and he shouldn't expect to be repaid. His reaction wasnt good, he lashed out and took it out of my hand saying I shouldnt touch his personal stuff. NTA, you were standing up for another woman and calling out your husband's bs. You need an trusted objective opinion to determine if you should stay in this relationship. He is taking advantage of a woman who is currently dealing with a very scary situation. Or divorcing him. You dont have to stick by his side and support his horrible actions out of anger. He left his first wife because she got diagnosed with cancer (the mother of his child!) Honestly this would make me question what kind of person Im married to. He stole from a sick woman because she didn't repay him for treatment that occurred when they were married, lied to you about it, screamed at you his wife, to stay out of his family business. Not as soon as Nora passed away. but i also hope you reevaluate your relationship with a man who is willing to such an inconsiderate thing. You are a good person. Also, what does he think he deserves for his "investment? How the hell does a man who would steal from a cancer patient get two decent women to marry him? I decided to leave, because if I was going to die, I didnt want to be with him when it happened. Seems like he has ZERO empathy. NTA. A woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the relationship is the patient. the reason for the divorce was financial. If you disagree then you can reply to the post with NAH. NTA. Would have been different if maybe he couldnt emotionally handle watching her get sick, but because he didnt want to pay for it? He stole from the literal mother of his child let alone his ex wife. CANCER!! Its extremely disturbing to me that this is how he is willing to treat not only the mother of his child, but his former wife. This isnt AITA for marring this guy its aita for telling my husband to return a bracelet he took. Keep putting pressure on him, because either he needs to crack, or you need to leave. That would be acceptable and reasonable for sure. He has stooped low here and he will do it to you if/when he feels entitled. But hubby certainly is. Him being a thief did. Your husband has proven that not only will he simply leave you if things get hard or you become terminally ill, but he will continue to hold over you anytime he did the bare minimum while you were still together. So you married someone who left his wife when she got cancer and you are surprised that he is a major AH and thief. He literally stole from someone who could be dying. NTA but man your husband is a real big one. He's a cold-hearted asshole, a thief, and a liar. Why do you even want to have a relationship with this loathsome immoral person? Smh. NTA. WTF?!?!? Encourage her to call the police. She needs to get her own account and safety to anything valuable to her (financially or emotionally) - before she leaves his ass by, say, next weekend and starts the divorce paperwork on Monday You've seen what kind of person your husband is. Nope. I recently read some shocking statistics that reflect men often, high percentages often, leave their sick spouse. He made a calculated decision to steal from a sick woman who may be dying. You know that he ducks out as soon as HE has to do something for his partner, and if he ditched his cancer suffering wife he sure as hell isnt gonna hesitate in leaving if you or your kids get ill. And once you have a child with a bad man as a woman youre really, really stuck. If hubby was telling the truth then all you needed to do was ring Nora and ask her, he's only overreacting be ause he's lying. He is something that is not exactly a good human. A surprisingly significant amount of men. This guy? NTA for calling Nora if he fails to return it, but youd be a massive AH to yourself if you didnt pay attention to this Soviet parade of red flags. NTA. Why are you married to this excuse of a man? Yeah, I don't think this attitude has died. He wanted to leave. He shows you early enough in the marriage that you can get out of it since he will do the same to you if you ever get sick. He's the AH, you're just forcing him into being shown for what he is. If this is something simple like Nora's condition deteriorating and he wants his daughter to have a memento of her, which I suspect that this is the case, then it should be done in the open. Get your jewelry back. After you do that call a divorce attorney. He is a walking red flag, OP. Now, shes going through it again and he STOLE FROM HER. He came into my life when I was 12. But that doesnt sound like the case here. Even if it was financial hardship that caused the divorce, which is slightly less heartless, it still means he'll leave you if you ever get into financial trouble. NTA. People never get caught the first time, or at least its rare. What kind of man does this? I worked in cancer and saw it frequently. Your husband is a thief. nooooo. Although, I am squimming a bit with you marrying a man who divorced his wife because of illness. what's he gonna do if YOU get deathly sick? I agree. Id tell Nora and the authorities, make sure he doesnt do this with any of your things or your step-daughters in fact. Who expects that in a marriage? NTA. There is no way for you to verify that it is returned and that nothing else is missing unless you do tell her. I was cleaning the bedroom and found a gold bracelet that looked familiar, I realized it belonged to Nora as I'd seen her wear it before. Youre married to a man who steals from a woman with cancer who is the mother of his child that he left because she got cancer. He decided not to stick around with a cancer patient. Im going to start with a personal story. A study showed that women diagnosed with cancer are 7 times more likely to be left after the diagnosis than men with the same circumstances. You're doing the right thing standing against this theft. If he sees no problem with doing something like this what else do you think he'd do? This is the first time Im hearing of divorce being strictly financial in this way. Your story is a bit different, because it seems like your husband is somehow trying to steal the bracelet as payback for what he paid in medical bills, but I feel like the psychology behind it is similar. HOW is everything always the woman's fault? OP is definitely NTA. Your husband is not a good man, and these red flags are highly concerning. Are you deluded enough to think he'll stick by you? But if the man got sick then you would get crap if you were a woman and YOU left him on his death bed. my goodness, this man is a piece of work! How low can a person get? He initiated a divorce when his then wife got diagnosed with cancer? Sorry to say, but you need to seriously think upon your relationship here. NTA but also why would you marry someone who got divorced just because their partner got cancer? Ooooh girl. Ding ding ding. I don't want to scare you or hurt you, but to warn you. Abnormal to end a relationship to someone you supposedly loved before for something like this. I'm always shocked by women who marry men like this. Thankfully the counselling word but fcking hll. NTA, but you would be if you stayed with him or didnt tell Nora. Maybe OP didn't know the truth behind their divorce until (way) after OP married him. You should rethink this relationship. I believe you deserve better Opie you and his previous wife. Will he steal from you also when youre in your most vulnerable state? That speaks volumes on his character and who he truly is. NTA - Thank you for advocating for Nora. YTA for being still being married to a thief who left his cancer stricken wife. Ask yourself this: what will he do to his daughter, should she ever disappoint him?? I cant imagine staying with someone after hearing that they left their last partner and the mother of their child because she dared to become sick. He could have even given her the cancer. Stand your ground. OP should immediately get a seperate account and move her valuables out of the house. This is disgusting behavior. She shouldn't trust him with anything - unless she goes with him watches him put it away, then marches him back to the car he'd never really give the bracelet back; he'd 'return' it to a pawn shop. Stealing from his cancer-stricken former wife and the mother of his child? Seriously consider leaving. Take it back, yourself, and explain to her what's going on. That's it. And, he has already shown that he is lower than low liar, and thief. Wow, no. NTA. "if anything ends us over this, it is because I never intended on marrying a thief.". I dont understand why youre with this guy. But you can tell a lot about someone by their actions and how they treat people. Yesterday he came home saying Nora wasn't home and he and my stepdaughter had to leave after waiting for an hour. Thats about as low as it goes. You seem too lovely to tolerate all that. Your husband is messed up and if I were you I would seriously be re-evaluating this marriage. Now that you know who and what he actually is you need to work on leaving. Lies to you that its for his daughter, gets angry when confronted. NTA, I don't think I've ever heard a more sickening instance of theft. Srsly, this is childish behaviour. Info : why are you married to a man who left his wife because she got cancer? And I'm really hoping OP only learned about that after she got married to him. Yeah no, this is not a good partner. Also never believe that something that happened to someone else wouldn't happen to you. NTA. And this should be a red flag for you. Please drop him. NTA wow. Dude fucked up and is gaslighting you so he doesnt have to take responsibility for HIS actions. Theres a special hell for people who steal from the ill and dying. He is devoid of empathy. While painful, this is a gift. I feel real bad for Nora. NTA. Tbh it sounds like she didn't find out until after they were married, if this guy told her the reasons were financial. He is literally stealing from the dying mother of his child. How could you be when you've done nothing wrong? Bring the bracelet to his ex, and maybe yall can be friends because you survived being married to the same asshole. The discrepancy is still not a good look, but there are lots of decent folk out there who don't just ditch their partners. Stealing is terrible, but STEALING FROM HIS EX WIFE WHO'S BATTLING CANCER?? The fact that her father is more concerned about 'getting paid back' by a woman who is not only the mother of his child but battling cancer is disgusting. NTA, but you would be TA if you didn't tell Nora about what he did. I was confused I waited til he got home to ask him about it. NTA and do you seriously want to be with someone who left a partner who had cancer? Also I would really question what happens if you or your step daughter gets sick. I did yes, she made this bed for herself. He was shocked to learn how common it is for men to leave, especially because endometriosis causes pain during sex. NTA and begin planning your escape with the idea in mind that a man capable of what he's done so far is also very capable of violence. This should be a blaring siren as to how he will treat you eventually. Just like the reason for your upcoming divorce wont be financial either. What the hell else needs to be said? NTA at all. This post made me sick to my stomach. Do you really want to be with someone who steals from cancer patients, and who will leave you the moment you get a cough? I could see a "we had to divorce to diminish our assets for treatment and fell out of love" but clearly that's not what happened. Because he assumes OP will forget about the bracelet in a decade. My dad died from cancer 4 months ago and I would never dream of taking his stuff while he was sick. You should think hard about what he would do if anything ever happened to you that made his life change in ways he didn't want it to. The reason for divorce was not financial. I scraped something off my shoe that was less shitty than your husband. He left her when she got cancer. Women are the ones who stay when a partner has a life threatening illness; men are the ones who leave. You know you are not the asshole in this, but are you aware that you are asshole to yourself for staying with this despicable man? If I were you, since you dont have any kids of your own with him Id run. I would nope the hell away from this man so fast and hopefully get his poor daughter away from him too. Your husband deciding that Nora lost value from having cancer is highly concerning, and him trying to get what he feels he's owed for caring for her by stealing is a big indicator he's an abuser. Then he digs himself a hole and jumps in it telling you he's owed if because she hasn't paid him back for the cancer treatment she had last time. Thats not ok! I feel for you and your step daughter coz your husband is a huge A. NTA. The outraged wife posted her situation to Reddit's Am I The A**hole forum, under username Saved-Ad7607. Ditch your husband, he probably is keeping tabs on you too. NTA. NTA. Also Side-note, OP: He doesn't consider you to be his family? NTA- Your husband is a huge red flag, He STOLE from his ex-wife who has cancer and told You to stay out of his family business. Luckily our son is fine but my husband was angry and grieving about the whole thing. Mom passed well over 20 years ago. Should you even be with this man? . Do you really want to be with this man? Devastated for this 9 year old. OP would a FOOL to stay with him, ESPECIALLY knowing he left his first wife because she got cancer AND expects to paid back for it???

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